Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
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