I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
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