All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
