Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I touched a dick in church today
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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