A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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