I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
