Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
