does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize