Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
