Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
