That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Randomize
