just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
She even gives head with a lisp.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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