I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I believe in your delicious
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
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