we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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