Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
