I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
