He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
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