Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Randomize
