I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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