I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
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