Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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