Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
