i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
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