my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
I don't think brook has ever known best
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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