Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Randomize
