Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
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