I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
