you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
