how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
