Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
