No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
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