Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
