In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize