your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
and you fell through a lawn chair
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Randomize
