I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize
