I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
