Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
