I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
i think i just lost a toe
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
