Barsexuality is the new black.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
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