real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
i already hear my dad disowning me
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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