i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize