How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
