ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Randomize
