Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
