so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize