Swine flu. Run for my life!
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
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