We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize