My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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