To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
