Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Randomize
