sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
