No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
so let's talk penis.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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