i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
