just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
