i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
