He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
