i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Randomize
