Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
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