They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
you never un-have a 4some
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Randomize
