so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Randomize
