If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
