I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Randomize
