Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
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