What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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