ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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