Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Randomize
