u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
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