i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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