Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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