i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
