Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
