you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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