I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
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