I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I wish life had little blips of pornography
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
