it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
