You're my little dorito
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
