weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize