I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize