i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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