Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Randomize
