god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
